Category Archives: Sex – The Evil Breaking Covenant Relationships

Some Advice for Anybody Having an Extra-Marital Affair

Posted on by
Reply
Email

Some Advice for Anybody Having an Extra-Marital Affair

 It happens and it really stinks. You’ve been married for years and suddenly you find yourself attracted to somebody else. Maybe he or she works in your office; maybe you even met them at church.

A long conversation turned into a test-flirt that got rewarded and then the touch of a hand and pretty soon you’re talking about how to navigate some pretty serious deception. Maybe you never thought it would go this far or you planned on stopping it before it reached this point but … you didn’t and now you’re cheating on your spouse.

Feelings begin to take hold based on a host of reasons, and some of them are purely biological. Some feelings are as light as the common cold, some as serious as a fatal disease. The problem is, the longer you follow the feeling the more the brain becomes awash with an “insane” logic that seems to make sense. Many feel like their brain has been awakened and their spirit revived, yet while bearing the tsunamis of guilt and shame.

Developing attraction or romantic feelings for someone other than your spouse happens in almost every relationship. Hopefully it’s rare, but it’s normal. Pursuing those feelings, however is harmful and incredibly destructive to people you care about. The irony is that while trying to bring love to that new person, you actually bring them harm. The pursuit involves hiding, manipulation, and lying; the very things you will later despise in yourself and distrust in the other.

If you have children, you’re not present because you’re spending every possible moment with the affair partner or obsessing about the next time you can. And then there is the 5 to 6 years of living hell you go through after you’re found out, even if you don’t get divorced.You may not have gotten into it on purpose but that is how you get out of it; on purpose.

When we begin to develop feelings for somebody else, it’s a great indicator some serious attention needs to be paid to our marriage. If you’ve not acted on anything, shut the inappropriate relationship down and be intentional about finding the spark in your marriage again. If this sounds extreme, imagine your spouse’s response if they knew what was going on.

If you’re already having an affair, you probably feel terrible but are having trouble stopping and have no idea what to do. We know this is extremely painful and want you to know some things you can do:

1.

       First of all come to terms with the fact this is going to be difficult and it’s going to hurt, but there will be life again.

2. Open up with God and own everything that you’ve done. When I confess without excuses I begin to feel God’s mercy.

3. To walk away from an affair you need to know something you are walking toward; something that is more important to you than that which you are afraid of losing in yourself when you leave. For instance if you felt you could only be your “real self” with your affair partner, walk through the fear of doing that with your spouse now. Yes, it may shake things up but not any worse than having an affair.

4. Talk to a counselor, a trusted pastor, or a real friend and ask for help now. This will make an immense difference and you will feel relief. A trustworthy person can help you do what you probably won’t do alone.

5. My guess is you have stopped being honest with your spouse about what’s not working in your relationship and you fear the conflict, or the silence, if you are. Consequently, you have taken your real self and real needs out of the marriage and that’s a problem. This is where a counselor can create the safety to help you be honest and to hear each other.

6. If you don’t learn how you are contributing to the problem, you will repeat it. Each of us brings our own wounds to the marriage that impact it much more than we can imagine. Invite your spouse to tell you how you contribute to their hurt and loneliness and then listen. It is amazing how people can drop their walls when they feel heard.

7. Stop deceiving yourself and others. When we are in the middle of a deception, we have usually told so many lies that we don’t know how to get back to the truth. The beginning of honesty with others is to first be honest with ourselves.

8. Let the pain that you feel in the absence of the affair partner call you to take a step into the mystery of God’s very real and inexhaustible love. This is not just religious babble. A short book by Henri Nouwen called The Inner Voice of Love is very helpful with this.

9. Tell your spouse the truth. I know this brings you panic because you have no idea how it will turn out. A counselor or experienced pastor is invaluable to help with this.

10. Stay humble and repent through the backlash. Defending yourself or blaming only fuels more anger and increases the chance that you’ll actually believe your defense.

 

• • •

The only thing that can make this situation worse is to heap on more deception. The truth just needs to come out and be dealt with. This is going to cost you and those you love a great deal, but dealing with it now and being honest will be the first step in reestablishing broken trust. Getting caught is going to make it much, much worse. If you walk through this honestly and humbly, you will uncover the meaning of integrity and will find you like yourself better, as will others. 

- Bill Lokey & Don Miller

Some Advice for Anybody Having an Extra-Marital Affair is a post from: Storyline Blog

Email

MY TIME WITH AN EX-PORN STAR

Posted on by
Reply
Email

MY TIME WITH AN EX-PORN STAR

by Frank Park http://theresurgence.com/2012/06/14/my-time-with-an-ex-porn-star 

For Mars Hill’s Real Marriage sermon “The Porn Path,” we flew up Crissy, a former porn star who’s since become a Christian, as a special guest to be interviewed in a Q&A with Pastor Mark and Grace as part of the sermon. After the event, I chauffered Crissy and her friend to the airport to catch their flight home to LA. Due to the severe snowstorm that hit Seattle this winter, her friend was able to get on a last-minute flight, but Crissy missed her flight altogether. This meant that I ended up spending a few more hours with her. Little did I know that my time with her would be life-changing.

As we waited to be sure her friend’s flight successfully took off, Crissy began to share her story, much of which she did not tell at the event. Her words brought all that I had learned about the effects of porn to a completely different level. It suddenly became very real. There was a real face behind the facts, a real voice behind the statistics.

I took away three major things from our conversation that will forever remain with me.

1. WOMEN ARE EXTRA-SPECIAL

1 Peter 3:7 tells men, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

When I read the words “weaker vessel,” I don’t see it as saying women are the weaker sex or unequal to men, but rather that women are extra-special, especially your wife.

Crissy’s story helped me to see that being a man means treating women (and in the future, my wife) with extra special care, love, and respect. I am to treat them as I would the most delicate vessel in my pottery collection—not because it is prone to break, but because it is invaluable.

2. PORN IS REAL

I know firsthand how addicting porn can be. During my college years, I was serving the church and watching porn. I was leading worship and watching porn. I was a leader in the church and watching porn. It was a love-hate relationship. No professing Christian, after watching porn says, “I’m glad I did that.” We know it is wrong by conviction from the Holy Spirit and regret it after the fact—but we keep going back.

If you’re looking at porn, know this: real people are involved and real damage is done. When you watch porn, you are supporting and encouraging the sexual, emotional, psychological, and physical abuse of real women, not just actors.

Talking with Crissy, my disgust over my history of watching porn and my gratitude to Jesus for redeeming me from that horrid habit simultaneously reached new highs. I wish every guy could sit down with Crissy for five minutes and just talk to her. If that doesn’t convict him, I don’t know what will.

3. JESUS CAN REDEEM ANYONE’S STORY

What stood out the most to me as Crissy shared—despite all that she had been through over the years with guys (not men) treating her as a commodity rather than a person and disrespecting her entirely—was that she told her story with a smile on her face.

Crissy knows without a doubt that her past does not define her—Jesus does. She knows that in Christ, she is righteous and spotless without blemish. She has hope for the future because of Jesus. She knows that Jesus is using her past to redeem others in the present. She now works for a non-profit organization called Treasures, which aims to reach out to women in the sex industry with the message that they are loved, valued, and purposed by Christ.

For those of you struggling with porn, know this:

  • There’s no such thing as “free porn” —it’s a lie.
  • Real women are being hurt in the porn industry.
  • Porn promises what only Jesus can fulfill.
  • Because Jesus conquered sin and death, this sin can be put to death once and for all in your life. You are fighting a battle that has already been won through Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.

Jesus really can and will redeem anyone’s story.

Email

SOME ADVICE TO YOUNG CHRISTIAN MEN

Posted on by
Reply
Email

SOME ADVICE TO YOUNG CHRISTIAN MEN BY DAVE at http://crosspointstudents.info/2013/01/some-advice-to-young-christian-men/ 

Guys, we all need to step up.  It’s plain and simple.  It’s time we quit delaying adolescence and lead.  It’s time we honor the name of Jesus in our lives, the church, and those around us.  It’s time we take to heart the words of Scripture, But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. (1 Timothy 6:11, ESV).   It’s time the church sees true men of God.  As a youth minister, I have the privilege of attempting to invest my life into cultivating young men (by the Spirit’s power). If I were to sit down in a room full of young men, I’d offer these words…

1. Put down your ego and look with humility toward the greatness of your God.  (John 3:30).  Men are all guilty of pride.  We are born with it (Psalm 51:5).  Pride creates opinions.  There is nothing wrong with cooking a meal for your family.  There is nothing wrong with doing the dishes.  Don’t be so full of yourself that your life centers around you.  Live your life daily with the desire to lift others up.  Sacrifice a game in order for your family to see your love.  Admit your failures.  Take advice and wisdom from others.  Be open for correction and live above reproach (1 Timothy 3:2). This glorifies Jesus.

2.  Don’t compromise your morals in order to be “just one of the guys.”  Those guys probably need Jesus.  Let the light of His grace shine in you when you are with them. (Matthew 5:16).  Real men don’t have to act like idiots and perverts in order to be defined.  Compromising your values while you are around “the dudes” only makes you less of a man and more like a boyish hypocrite.  Stand firm in your passion for Christ, not matter who you are with (Ephesians 6:10-18).  Those guys will be more impressed with your boldness in your faith than your cowardly compromise.  (Just a hint, you need accountability with this from another God-fearing man).

3.  Don’t follow the example of guys on T.V.  I will lose points on this one…but I have to say it; I absolutely hate “The Bachelor.”  I’m not judging Sean out of anger (calm down girls), but I’m stating the facts of what I observe weekly.  A young man who wants to honor Jesus…hooks up with more than a dozen women in order to find the right match.  This quote was found on a website today in description of the show He is on, “The Bachelor” airs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.We’ll be back next week with all the drama, tears, cocktail dresses, and inappropriate touching anyone could handle. We have too many young men preying on our sisters in Christ in the church today.  Don’t allow the media to influence the way you develop as a Godly man.  Go against the stream of sinful conformity.  Rebel.

4. Don’t disrespect women.  The ladies in our church need you to serve, lead, and honor them.  They need you to protect the holiness and purity of their faith.  If you are given the privilege of marriage one day, hold fast to the truth ofEphesians 5:25.   Cowards take advanage  of women.  Real men treat them with the respect and love that gives glory to Jesus.  Remember, that girl is not your wife until you make the covenant known before God and the church.

5. Study well, work hard, and stop depending on your parents.  This generation is lost in social media, smart phones, gaming, and other items of interest.  If you can’t look someone in the eye and have a conversation with them, there is a problem.  Don’t be a drain on this economy.  Don’t abuse your parents’ sacrifice in your college years.  Honor God by demonstrating strong work ethics.  Hard work honors Jesus.  Paul wrote, Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, (Colossians 3:23, ESV).

I have more to say, perhaps at a later time.  I’m praying for all those young men that I’ve met over the years.  I consider it a joy to see them grow up, get married, have children, and honor Jesus.  I can do more years of this work (by God’s grace), if I see more young men step up.  It’s time.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Dave

Email

Immoral TOHU wa BOHU

Posted on by
Reply
Email

Immoral TOHU wa BOHU

from ReKnew by ReKnew

Popout

Here’s a sneak peek of Greg’s sermon from this last week. In his sermon, Greg discusses that TOHU wa BOHU is the term the Old Testaments writers used to describe the formless, empty and chaotic world before creation. He shows how sexual immorality is outside of God’s plan for creation, and it leads us back to this TOHU wa BOHU. If you’d like to download the whole sermon as well as other resources, visit the Woodland Hills Church sermon page.

Be blessed!

Email

Be Like Jesus – Not a Politician: Why I Simply Do Not Care How Babylon Defines Marriage

Posted on by
Reply
Email

Some thoughts rolling around my head on this issue…

1) Its wrong to die on any political battlefield that puts wall between people and Jesus.  I agree with the political point that Rachel Held-Evans makes here about winning the culture war but loosing a generation: http://rachelheldevans.com/win-culture-war-lose-generation-amendment-one-north-carolina

2) Jesus’ kingdom is NOT OF THIS WORLD.  Political change does not change people truly, it does not change hearts nor does it even create the desire for change, two things the Spirit of Jesus in the church and the human heart experiencing compassion through someone else does.  We are about life-change starting now by salvation through Jesus outrageous love and the indwelling work of the Holy Spirit in Theosis – the fullness of which comes in the life of the world to come after death (or the end of the world as we know it). If my politics slam the gates of the kingdom of God on you BEFORE I ever get to introduce you to Jesus through my life, faults and grace – I’ve failed you.  Ney, I’ve failed my Lord.

excursus: Note Jesus consistently rejected aligning with political parties and even religious parties in his day (note no separation of church and state at all in his day – but advocates of various levels of enmeshment and political action to deal with Rome).  This also meant that he could call people to follow him from the violent zealots to the Helenized.  Do our churches have that kind of appeal – so full of Jesus that some from the most extreme ends of the spectrum are willing to make their politics secondary to Jesus?  NOT if you keep making the Civil Religion Jesus the center instead of the Jesus of the Bible and the Living Resurrected Lord Jesus who is present by the Holy Spirit in the Church!

 

The New Testament tells us the nation that God blesses is HIS nation, the holy Nation of those bought by the Blood of the Lamb.  All kingdoms of the world are simply tools, under the influence of Satan and yet used by God.  They are passing.  There is no “Christian nation” defined by ballots, borders, bullets or bombs.  NOW yes there are Christian influenced nations and policies – but at the end of the day they are not the Kingdom of God – they are not EVER to be thought of as an extension of His kingdom nor of the church.

Civil religion Christianity is an idol and a cheap knock off that will always leave you angry, fearful, and under the sway of politicians, pundits and demons.  It’s also a huge idol in America, and in much of the American church – effectively drawing people away from the real deal.

(FYI this is why in part I am not Mormon or Muslim – Religions that teach the sword is directly connected to their power.  That coercion is acceptable as a tool – and therefore the goal should be to establish a Mormon or Islamic Shariah-based state.  Jesus EXPLICITLY rejected the state/politics as the way to make society better.)

3) Political issues are used by Satan to get the church off mission and onto another mission.  America is best place to live so far.  But it’s still a form of Babylon – perhaps the best kind of Babylon there can possibly be – but still at the end of the day it’s a Babylon.  We are to bless it and work to make it a better place – but our first call is to follow Jesus – that’s the best way to make America a better place.

Be like Jesus -NOT like a politician.  (repeat this to self three times).

AND before all you lefties think I’m preaching to your choir – it applies as much to you as the fundamentalist right!  Many of you are as blinded and co-opted by civil religion as the hard-right is.  Do I need to whip out all the media and hollywood “messianic” swooning from the 2008 election as a recent over the top crazy example? (Or the leaked newsweek cover for 5/14 of the rainbow haloed pres?)

4) How the church defines marriage HAS NEVER BEEN the purpose of marriage definitions in the state/legal area.  Marriage is a covenant in the church BUT its a contract in the world.

5) IF you are going to “defend marriage” through ballots, borders, bombs,  then we REALLY should be working on laws that end divorce and strongly prosecute any alienation of affection, repeal all “no-fault” divorces, go after adulterers with prison time, and generally insist on tracking everyone’s sexual activity.   Focusing on 1.7% to 10% of the population through defining marriage as a one man/one woman – is just a grand distraction from the real enemies of marriage.  (Those are in your heart – what laws will change YOUR heart? hmm…  )

6) Now for a (not so ?) radical suggestion: I believe (perhaps!) the church should work at REMOVING all legal forms of Marriage.  Marriage is NOT a civil contract – it is spiritual and religious.  Therefore should be protected as worship is and who religious groups can hire is, but not sanctioned by the law.  Instead we can advocate for legal civil union/domestic partnerships for all people defining contractual obligations when such arrangements go south and to protect children from destructive/abusive situations.

Quite frankly I say this in most weddings that I perform that as a follower of Jesus and ordained by His church for it’s service, “In the eyes of the state marriage is simply a right to sue someone you would not otherwise be able to if you have a break up.  In the eyes of God/the Church marriage is a covenant – it’s about entering into a new and enduring kind of relationship – what you will do – not so much about something you appeal to.”

So perhaps the best response is on Three-fronts:

1) Begin understanding that Biblical marriage is not about the state – and in fact a counter-intuitive move would be to encouraging believers to no longer pursue legal marriage (perhaps just a domestic partnership to still participate in the system – until we can make marriage no longer a legal category) – believers however ABSOLUTELY should be married by the church community – we should make celebrating covenant marriage and christian sexuality a higher priority.  

2) Work to build up marriages through teachings, helping people create healthy relational and sexual boundaries, getting serious about lust, porn, sexual slavery/trafficking, and loving people outrageously when they are not where the church is on the value of exclusive covenantal  relationships and Christian sexuality.

3) Work on a third-way view of sexuality – the liberals AND the fundamentalist-conservatives both get this one VERY wrong.  From Fred Phelps to Dan Savage – foaming their hatred and misrepresentation of the Bible and sex – we have got to get real.  I written much on this before.  But the church should not be sucked into the current soft science view of orientation or sexuality. The whole H or LGBTQ approach is couched in western soft sciences that are shifting and will look different another 50 years from now.  So let’s not go all funde or liberal – let’s step back and look at the texts as if they might be teaching us something we are not hearing.  I believe they are.

Love is the path to holiness.  Political posturing is not.

 

Email

Best article I’ve read today…Whores: A Meditation on Gender and the Bible

Posted on by
Reply
Email

.this is good – make sure you read the comments too…the first one is a great additional balance. ”Just like if I’m shopping in the grocery aisle, I’m not going to rip open bags of coffee to satisfy my tastebuds. That’s because of healthy boundaries. Loving my neighbor as myself.”

 

Whores: A Meditation on Gender and the Bible

By Richard Beck,
Professor and Department Chair of Psychology at Abilene Christian University  http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2012/04/whores-meditation-on-gender-and-bible.html

In a recent post I wrote about my leading a study on the book of Revelation at a local prison. In that post I discussed how one of the themes of Revelation is the contrast between two cities–Babylon and the New Jerusalem–and how the pastoral aim of Revelation is to call the people of God to “come out” from Babylon.

In this post I’d like to think a bit about one of the problems regarding how this contrast is made in Revelation. Specifically, one of the metaphors used to contrast Babylon and New Jerusalem is a Whore/Bride contrast. In Revelation Babylon is cast as a whore:

 Revelation 17.1-5
One of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the punishment of the great prostitute, who sits by many waters. With her the kings of the earth committed adultery, and the inhabitants of the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her adulteries.”

Then the angel carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness. There I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, and was glittering with gold, precious stones and pearls. She held a golden cup in her hand, filled with abominable things and the filth of her adulteries. The name written on her forehead was a mystery:

BABYLON THE GREAT
THE MOTHER OF PROSTITUTES
AND OF THE ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.

By contrast, New Jerusalem is compared to a virginal bride:

 Revelation 21.1-2
Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared asa bride beautifully dressed for her husband.

For those aware of feminist scholarship, you’ll quickly see how the writer of Revelation is using the Madonna/Whore typology. This typology expresses the ambivalent nature of male feelings regarding female sexuality. On the one hand, the male sexual fantasy is to have a woman who is sexually uninhibited and insatiable. The female actresses in pornography portray this fantasy, a female who is sexually aggressive and can’t get enough sex.This–the Whore–is the sexual fantasy of most if not the vast majority of males.

The ambivalence comes from the fact that while most males fantasize about having sex with the Whore–the sexually uninhibited and insatiable female–they don’t want to be married to such a woman. When it comes to marriage men want the Madonna, the virginal and faithful bride… read the rest and the comments here: http://experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2012/04/whores-meditation-on-gender-and-bible.html

 

Email

9 Ways to Fight the Temptation of Pornography

Posted on by
Reply
Email

 

9 Ways to Fight the Temptation of Pornography By BJ Stockman Posted on 

 

My earlier post “7 Negative Effects of Porn” concentrated on the harmful psychological and sociological effects of pornography, and this post will focus on a biblical and grace-centered way to resist the temptation to view porn. Primarily this post is aimed at men, but I hope that there is some help here for the growing number of women who are addicted to porn and I hope that more Christian women will write on this hidden issue.

  1. Fight lustful images with the knowledge of God’s written Word. Images are unbelievably powerful, but God has made the universe through his word and the explosive power of his word trumps the alluring power of an image. God didn’t give us a picture-Bible, but revealed himself through words and sentences to be read and heard. The longest chapter in the Bible shows that the way a young man keeps his way pure is through knowing God’s word (Ps. 119:9, 11). Therefore the firecracker of pornographic images is no match for the napalm of God’s spoken and written word.
  2. Realize that viewing porn unleashes insatiable craving but kills genuine satisfaction. Leering at naked women online incites yearnings for more and more naked women, yet never gives ultimate satisfaction.  On the other hand, the body of one’s wife is a garden of pleasures that leads to holy satisfaction. The book of Proverbs gives the wisdom of a father to son: “Let [your wife’s] breasts satisfy you at all times”(5:18, 19). The body and breasts of your wife contain an intoxicating influence that no other body and breasts can bring. If you don’t think they are satisfying or intoxicating, the problem isn’t her, but the fact that you settle for inferior and ultimately unsatisfying cravings. Why settle for cheap wine when your wife is a fine vintage.
  3. Treat all women who are not your wife like sisters and mothers (1 Ti. 5:2). Look into the eyes of your mom or sister and recognize that the centerfold you gazed at last night probably has a heartbroken family member that loves her. Unless a further sexual deviancy has developed within you, the thought of your daughter or mother being a centerfold should appall you and jolt you out of the objectification of women and back into the reality of treating all women as created in the image of God.
  4. Sever the sources of temptation to view porn. When discussing the adulterous sin of lust, Jesus said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell” (Mt. 5:29). In doing so he prescribes a radical violence toward that which leads you to sin. Jesus knew that amputating your hand doesn’t kill lustful desire, after all he said sin starts in the heart (Mt. 15:19), but his call does mean that you need to get drastic on non-sins that may lead to sin. For some of you this will mean disconnecting the Internet for a period of time or only accessing it in public places, for others this may mean an extended media fast of all kinds. You fill-in-the-blank. Remember, though legalism is never a means to sanctification, the call to holiness and following Jesus demands radical steps.
  5. Think about the eternal result of lust. As Jesus’ words indicated above, at on one level, his answer to how to fight lust is: fight it or risk going to hell. God’s wrath is coming for all kinds of sin and one of them is sexual sin (Col 3:5-6). Therefore since purity is of eternal importance, don’t give up in the fight for it. This is only one of the ways to fight this particular sin, but it is not the most significant way. The primaryway to repent is through seeing God’s magnificent kindness and undeserved grace in Jesus (Ro. 2:4), but this does not mean we that we ignore the other biblical incentives of repentance in light of God’s future terrible wrath. Grace is the best motivator, but it is not the only one.
  6. Enjoy the pleasures of purity more than the pleasures of porn. Eighteenth-century preacher Thomas Chalmers, in his classic sermon “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection”, demonstrated how the greatest power in killing a sinful desire is not just by harping on the sinful desire but on replacing it with a new and greater holy desire. The promise of experiencing sinful lustful pleasures at almost any moment via your Internet connection is hard to argue with, unless you replace it with a superior pleasure, then it becomes easy. Jesus said it is the pure in heart that will see God (Mt. 5:8), and the Psalmist tells us that in the presence of God are infinite pleasures (Ps. 16:11). In view of this reality, the desire to see God who gives eternal pleasure far outweighs temporal lustful desire. It’s insane to settle for a mud puddle of pleasure when you have an ocean of pleasure awaiting you in the presence of the Triune God.
  7. Avoid accountability groups and link up with believers radically focused on encouraging one another in the Gospel of grace. Accountability groups kill, but gospel-driven community gives life. Well, maybe this is a bit of an overstatement against accountability groups, but the point is that often accountability groups turn into focusing on sin rather than experiencing the gospel of grace. Men’s groups I’ve been apart of in the past tend to focus more on the experiences of failure the week before not the event of God’s grace in the death and resurrection of Christ 2,000 years ago. Don’t get me wrong, Christian relationships should engage in confessionof sin (Ja. 5:16), but they are also meant for encouragement in grace. The author of the Hebrews reveals that the key to not being hardened to the deceitfulness of sin isdaily encouragement not an excessive concentration on sin (Heb. 3:13). The use ofaccountability software between brothers to keep one away from online pornography is helpful, but grace-oriented encouragement between brothers is best.
  8. Stare at Jesus not at porn. Trying harder and harder to stop looking at porn isn’t the way to stop looking at porn; you must look somewhere else, namely, the person of Jesus Christ. Paul in 2 Corinthians 3:18 writes, “And we all with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” True inward change comes from beholding Jesus not from not looking at porn. As it has been said, what you behold you become, or as biblical theologian Greg Beale puts it, you become what you worship. Look at porn and become a person controlled by lust and idolatry or look at Jesus and become a glorious and whole human being that reflects the beauty and glory of God.
  9. Fight as a son of God who has been freed to walk in purity. As a Christian the key to fighting lustful temptation (and any temptation for that matter) is by knowing who you are not by evaluating what you have done. Becoming a son of God is not dependent upon your not looking at porn, but upon being united to Jesus by faith and the result of the Spirit of God’s work in your heart (Ro. 8:3-4, 14). No longer are you defined by your entanglements with porn, but by your connection to the person and work Jesus. Jesus was crucified for your lust, and he has made you objectively pure in him. Therefore you can work from a place of purity as covered in the righteousness of God in Christ (2 Cor. 5:21), not toward a place of purity to earn righteousness. Kill the urge to view porn because you are a son of God who is dead to sin and free to walk in purity (Ro. 6:1-14). Pornography is no longer your master—God is your father who radically loves you (1 Jn. 3:1) and Jesus is your sin-bearer who is not ashamed to call you, with all your inordinate lusts, “brother”  (Heb 2:11). So, fight the temptation of pornography, to paraphrase John Piper, as a victor not avictim.
Email

Sexuality From a Traditional Christian Point of View – Rich Nathan

Posted on by
Reply
Email

“…Sexuality is a topic where we’re light-years from culture, almost speaking Greek to others.  We’re trying to speak truth lovingly.  I don’t want to say you don’t want to offend, but you don’t want to alienate (people either).

There are a few frames that I use for talking about sexuality.  I like the frame of “economic exchange vs. covenant.”  To use Tim Keller’s langauge, we’ve commidified everything in temporary life.  If I go to Starbucks and the price is too high, I don’t buy the coffee.  It quality drops, I don’t buy.

That’s what’s happened to everyone of our personal relationships.  When the price of marriage gets too high, or the quality drops or my needs “aren’t getting met,” I’m out of there. (If you are not married  - are you being faithful to your future spouse?  If you are – the present one?)

That’s the way we relate, and we put sex in that framework.  It’s really an economic exchange (in American/western culture today).

Most of the world, for most of history,  hasn’t viewed personal relationships as economic exchange.  They’ve put the personal dimension of life in the framework of covenant.

When I talk about sexuality.  I’ll say this, “Until you’re ready to give this other human being everything you own, until you’re ready to share with them your pension and your house, medical insurance and your bank account and your car, until you’re ready to give them everything that you own and until you’re ready to take on everything that they are, including all their debts, all their emotional problems and their parents and their school loans, until you’re ready to take everything on…you don’t understand covenant.”

Biblical sexuality occurs in the context of covenant, and that’s what makes it so amazing.

-R. Nathan

 

 

Email

Pro-Life is WAY More Than “Pro-birth/anti-abortion”

Posted on by
Reply
Email

At Mercy Church we talk about being holistically pro-life – abortion, war, death-penalty and so on are life issues from a Jesus’ teachings perspective.

AND here’s the deal we are CAUSING abortions IN the church by making it SO POLITICAL!!! The Devil wins the house and the nation on this one.  We create such an unredemptive, two-teir, false-holiness, performing and hiding, unable to affirm secondary pleasures and boundaries culture – that we are creating molech by our POLITICAL CIVIL RELIGION FALSE version of the faith.

The Devil wins when he gets the church to trade the power of God’s redeeming and forgiving and restoring and confessing and healing love revealed fully in Jesus and made real by the shedding of His blood…for the power of the civil religion version of Christianity (or Islam or pop atheism, etc.).

Political pastors on the issues of life will have more blood on their hands than they realize.  They will have to answer Jesus as to why their politics got in the way of the Mission of Jesus to save, heal and redeem.   Why they created a culture of abortion in the church by protecting and projecting false holiness – just like the religious politicians of Jesus day.

The National Association of Evangelicals is attempting to change the tone.  Nothing but praise from this Jesus-loving, Bible-teaching, spirit-filled pastor here.

Be pro-life in the house of God first and foremost.  Love instead of judge – it will change the next generation.

Create a spiritual family that can show another way.  Help out a single mother.  Love, include, and lift up the Biblical standards of sex and the affirmation of pleasure, children and grace because ALL HAVE FALLEN SHORT.

Pregnant?  You are welcome at Mercy Church.  The path to holiness is not hiding, hissing or hating.

 

 

 

Email